Weeaboo Dating Tips #6

toptierwaifu:

For your first date take her to see the sappiest romance movie in the cinema. Near the end secretly take out your phone and read the bit of the Full Metal Alchemist manga where Mustang cries at Hughes’s funeral. When she looks over and sees the tears streaming down your face she will be amazed at how compassionate and sensitive you are.

brook:

i always assume the worst of men and let them gradually prove themselves to me 

ask-gallows-callibrator:

levi-has-the-booty:

Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH 

SHOTS FIRED 

nerdjpg:

fruit of the loom commercials get weirder every year

nerdjpg:

fruit of the loom commercials get weirder every year

wavesinjuly:

suckmyphallus:

getterbeam:

imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.

image

Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.
According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.
Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.

According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.

Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

not-all-cannibals:

not-all-cannibals:

BEST PURCHASE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER
*excited umbrella-sword slashing*
*manic laughter*

in recent news I’ve been stopped by multiple security guards

thelivingjen:

bluntbitch-xo:

terra-butt:

I WAS TRYING TO DO A TRICK ON MY FRIEND DARRELL BUT THEN I ENDED UP NEARLY CRYING I FEEL SO SHITTY LOOK HOW NICE HE IS.

this is so sad omg

keep him keep your friend forever